The holiday season is upon us yet again, and with its arrival comes a unique set of challenges for
divorced and separated parents. Whether you’re recently separated and adjusting to a new
parenting dynamic, or you have a few years of experience co-parenting, here are some ways to
reduce stress and ensure positive holiday memories for your children. To see our full video on this subject, click here.
Review Your Parenting Plan
It sounds simple, but the easiest way to reduce stress is to carefully review and follow your
parenting plan. It’s your roadmap for handling holiday schedules and you should know how it
applies to you. Don’t forget to
- Check the school calendar to see how it aligns with your schedule for pickups and drop
offs. - Consider requirements for traveling out-of-state with your children, as some plans require
co-parent permission.
If You Don’t Have a Parenting Plan
If you’re separated and don’t have a formal plan, it’s a good idea to start communicating early
with your co-parent to create a holiday schedule.
Different families handle holidays in different ways, such as:
- Splitting time over specific days.
- Alternating holidays each year.
- Assigning fixed holidays to each parent based on unique family needs.
If your parenting plan is still being mediated or litigated and you can set aside differences,
consider:
- Celebrating holidays together temporarily.
- Coordinating children’s gifts.
- Creating new, exciting holiday traditions.
Be Flexible
Even with a set schedule, flexibility is key to making the holidays enjoyable for you children.
Make sure you:
- Communicate any anticipated schedule changes with your co-parent as far in advance as
possible. Early communication increases the likelihood of a cooperative response. - Document any agreed-upon changes through text or email.
- In the absence of an agreement, remember to follow the parenting plan.
Consider the Best Interests of Your Children
Holidays should be focused on children’s happiness and well-being. Don’t forget to:
- Make decisions that prioritize their interests, even when it feels inconvenient or unfair, or
the other parent is not following the same high standards. - Remember that Oregon courts take note of how each parent supports a child’s
relationship with the other parent. Actions taken during the holiday season can impact
future legal matters, so keeping interactions respectful and doing your best to be
cooperative is beneficial.
Next Steps
Navigating the holiday season after a divorce or separation can be challenging. If you need help
creating, interpreting, or modifying a holiday parenting plan, The Commons Law Center is here
to help. Contact us here to schedule a consultation with an experienced family law attorney. Our
legal coaching program is designed to provide cost effective legal assistance on a variety of
family law issues, including divorce, custody, and modifications. To see our full video on this subject, click here.