Representing yourself in a family law case can be intimidating, but with the right tools and
enough preparation, you can be an effective advocate for yourself. Here are three tips to get you
started:
1. Understand Oregon Family Law and Local Court Rules
Even though you’re self-represented, you can still be held to the same standards as an attorney in
court. Don’t let that discourage you! Regardless of why you’re in court, you should know the
laws specific to your case. Knowing the law will help you:
- Understand your rights
- Understand which facts matter to your judge (and which don’t)
- Build a solid foundation for your arguments
- Set reasonable expectations for the outcome of your case
There may also be rules specific to your courthouse. Local court rules, known as Supplementary
Local Rules (SLRs), are where you will find information about the procedures and forms unique
to your courthouse. Reviewing these on your local court website will:
- Ensure you don’t miss important deadlines
- Reduce the chance that your court filings will be rejected
2. Strategize and Organize Evidence
After you’ve learned the law and how to apply the facts of your case, you should prepare to
present your arguments (supported by evidence) to the judge. It’s important to give yourself at
least three months before trial to develop a strategy and organize your evidence. Here are a few
ways to get started:
- Write down the main points you want to make to the judge and organize them logically
- Create a timeline of events to keep your case organized and easy to follow
- Write down your goals or desired outcome. Highlight the facts and evidence which
support that goal, and explain why any bad facts are not as important as the other side
thinks they are - Gather all relevant documents, including financial records, text messages, emails, and
photographs. Make at least three copies of these documents: one for yourself, one for the
judge, and one for the other side
3. Explore Your Options Before Adopting a “Trial Mindset”
As much as the courtroom may feel like a battlefield, embracing a “warrior” mindset can get in
the way of meaningful and creative solutions. In the context of custody and parenting time, it can set you (and your children) up for years of continuing arguments and trauma. Oregon courts recognize the short and long-term impact that court has on families and provides alternatives to trial, including:
- Settlement conferences—a hearing conducted by a judge with the express goal of
helping parties settle. They often take place outside of the courtroom. - Informal Domestic Relations Trial (IDRT)—if both parties agree, instead of a formal
trial they can speak directly to the judge about the disputed issues. The judge still makes
a decision about your case (just like trial), but because there is no need to follow the
rules of evidence, this is a great option for self-represented parties. - Mediation—an alternative to trial that helps families reach an agreement on some or all
of the disputed issues. Mediation is required in cases involving custody and parenting
time, but it’s something everyone should consider.
You’re Not Alone
Following these tips will improve your ability to advocate for yourself, but you don’t have
prepare for court alone! An experienced family law attorney at The Commons can help you
through each step in the process. Click here to learn more about our affordable family law pay-
as-you-go coaching program and to fill out our family law intake form to get started with legal
coaching services.