Do Kids Have a Say in Custody and Parenting Time in Oregon?

When parents go through a divorce or separation, one of the biggest questions can be, “Where
will the kids live?” and “How much time will they spend with each parent?” Often, parents want
to know if their kids should have a say in these decisions, and whether a child’s opinion matters
to a judge. Let’s look at how this works in Oregon—and what happens if a child seems to
strongly favor one parent over the other.

Can Kids Choose Which Parent They Want to Live With?

Unless parents agree, the court decides where a kid will live and how much time they’ll spend
with each parent. The court uses a list of factors found in ORS 107.137 when making the
decision. These factors are also known as the “best interests of the child” standard, and they are
something all parents should be familiar with when trying to convince the Court what’s best for
their kid.
So do kids get to decide which parent they live with, or how much time they spend with a
parent? The answer is no. Kids do not get to make the final decision, and there’s no law that
requires the court to consider a child’s wishes. Kids should be spared the stress and guilt of
making such a decision, but in some circumstances the judge can consider a child’s wishes,
especially if the child is older or has a higher level of maturity.

What Happens if a Child Favors One Parent?

Sometimes, a child may feel closer to one parent and may even refuse to see the other. The court
takes this seriously because it wants to make sure there is a good reason for the child’s feelings.
If a child strongly favors one parent, the Court will try to find out why. It will look into:

  • Whether there’s a reason the child feels unsafe with one parent
  • If either parent might be influencing the child’s feelings against the other parent
  • How to help the child feel comfortable spending time with both parents

The court might ask a counselor or therapist to meet with the child and parents to make an
assessment, or it may even appoint an attorney to represent the child. This can help the court
understand why the child feels the way they do and whether the situation can be improved.

What Else Does the Court Consider?

The court will try to make sure the child has a safe and healthy relationship with both parents. If
one parent is encouraging the child to dislike the other, the court may take steps to fix that. This
could include:

  • Therapy to help the child and parents work through their feelings.
  • Parenting time adjustments to make sure the child spends quality time with both
    parents.
  • Parenting classes to help parents learn better ways to communicate and co-parent.

Final Thoughts

While a child’s wishes are important, they do not get to decide custody or parenting time. The
court’s goal is to create a safe and healthy arrangement for children, so the judge may consider
the reasons why a child expresses a strong opinion against a parent. If your kid is refusing time
with one parent, you should talk to an experienced family law attorney. They can help you
understand the court’s approach and what options you have to make things better for your child.
Click here to learn more about our affordable pay-as-you-go coaching program. Fill out our
family law intake form to get started.

The Commons Law Center Blog is for information purposes only. It is not legal advice.

posted October 28, 2024

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